It Sucks – On Caring and Grief
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It Sucks

  posted on:  August 15, 2016

There are probably hundreds of tips and tricks I can share with you to help try to ease your own patient experience, and I promise, I will share them with you. But today I want to take a minute and acknowledge that being sick or taking care of someone who is sick…sucks.

It really sucks.

Don’t get me wrong. I will do whatever I can and need to do to take care of my husband. But it sucks. It sucks to see him suffer. It sucks to see him so vulnerable. It also sucks that our plans are on hold. It sucks that we can’t go for the walks we used to go on. It sucks that our income has gone from two to one.

It really sucks.

On the flipside, I know it could be worse. I mean, he’s still here with me. I’m fortunate to get to do what I do to help him, to help us. And somehow, after all he has been through, he still jokes with me. It could be worse.

Yet, it really sucks.

The point I’m trying to make is this: I’m finally accepting the fact that It’s ok to acknowledge the negative feelings. I don’t and won’t dwell on them, because really, that’s not going to help, but I won’t deny their existence. And, equally important in my opinion, I’m also accepting the fact that it’s ok to take some time for yourself.

It’s ok.

To be honest, it took me six months before I finally took some time for myself. Six months and all I did was go down the street for a manicure. I was back within an hour. But it was a start and little by little, I found myself taking more time, not much, but more. Did it get easier? Kind of..I mean, I always felt a guilty as I left, but I knew I had to do it. Should I have taken more? Some people think so, but I took the amount of time that was appropriate for my husband and I.

That’s the key for our situation—understanding what’s best for us. And I suspect, that is probably going to be the key for you as well. You see, everyone’s situation and circumstances are different. What works for us may not work for you, and what works for you may not work for us. All of that is ok.

It sucks and it’s ok. That’s my message for you today.

In case you’re looking for some quick, relatively inexpensive things to do for some quality you time:

  1. Mani/Pedi: ‘Nough said.
  2. Go to a bookstore: This was always my first choice. I was lucky enough to have a nice, local bookstore close by that was full of best sellers and local authors. When things were really bad, or we were just having a really stressful week, this was always the light at the end of my tunnel
  3. Go see a movie: There were a few funny, mindless movies out while my husband was inpatient. It was nice to just sit and not have to think too hard for a few hours


I am not a healthcare professional. I am not a doctor. I am not a nurse. I am not a social worker. I am simply sharing the information learned from my own experience. Your experience is going to be different. 

By reading, and if you chose, utilizing any information, tips, etc. found on On Caring and Grief you are doing so at your own risk.

Opinions expressed here on On Caring and Grief are mine and mine alone.